share and share alike

Hey All,

I usually come on here because I have something to say. However, I think that sometimes someone else says it better and it’s best to let you experience that unadulterated. I got this off of Ran’s blog as shared from Huck Finn on Estradiol. It makes for a better chew than gum:

You can’t take a wheelchair on an escalator, or even a walker. You have to be somewhat agile to get on and off, too, which makes depending on a cane, or even a recent prosthesis somewhat dicey. You can’t carry any more luggage on an escalator than you can on the stairs.

Basically, escalators are for people who can walk but choose not to.

Oscar Night

One night of the year, and the whole world watches. An industry carries an incredible weight with every step. Dreams are held, passed along, and lived.

The Academy Awards are an interesting event. So many people gather around and tune into a night of Thank-You’s. Disappointment and joy and elation — one of those moments when feelings hit you from different directions and pull you along.

I have not always been a fan of award shows but the Oscars, being by far the most celebrated, is of a quite individual calibre.
Every category and every nominee brings something different to the picture.

In one night, so many challenges are overcome. There are the shallow aspects such as who wears what as well as the heavy moments where you the fabric is set apart from the fabrication. The lighter moments that make you laugh, and the deep moments that demand a closer look.

I’ve always felt the magic behind a movie, and watching the Oscars tonight, I could feel myself once again under the spell.

What I am thinking

Reflecting on yesterday’s post (list)…I wonder: Why do people write? Why do I write?

I don’t know if there is any one reason why I do, but I know it’s because I want to share. I want to share what I feel and how I feel it. I want to give who I am, because it only makes sense.

My wish is to live love. To be love. And the rudiment of love is to share.

Love is complete vulnerability. No walls, no masks. Love is the ultimate giving. People founded business because they believed it to be the base of the world. Whether or not it is the most basic level of existence or a vehicle for affluence, love is the direction and guide of where to go from there.

I suppose I write, because I love. Writing is a channel of that love. The best part about a channel is that it allows a flow out, and a flow in. If you were to shrink yourself and enter the human bloodstream, the heart would pump you away — for when it pumps you away, you inevitably return.

Maybe existence is realizing the universe is a body. Understanding that it’s got an intelligence and and a vast capacity of unknown potential. Maybe we really know the potential but forgot.

What I’ve learned (Age 20)

Hello out there,

Lately I have written on this blog as if no one is listening and it has been very therapeutic and enhancing for me. As you join me in this journey called Life, I thought I would take a break from that and lead us on a detour. Here is a list of things I’ve learned. I believe that everybody learns, and it is an active process that you independently enact. Learning is always a consequence of yourself, but the consequence is yours to choose (or not). You can’t prevent every cause and control every effect, but you can control what you do with the effect. You can choose to let it control you. Anyways, here are some things I’ve learned in my 20 years of life. (And the best part about all of these items on the list: I’m still learning from them).

At age 20, I have learned:

  1. to love
  2. to listen
  3. to ride a bike
  4. to rock climb
  5. to read
  6. to write
  7. to walk
  8. to run
  9. to sit
  10. to stand
  11. to chew with my mouth closed (Mom)
  12. to play guitar
  13. to start a fire
  14. to put out a fire
  15. to rescue myself from an overturned canoe
  16. to smoke
  17. to dress myself
  18. to choose my friends
  19. to hug
  20. to share
  21. to play basketball
  22. to play hockey
  23. to drive a car (legally)
  24. to make grilled cheese sandwiches
  25. to change a diaper
  26. parler le francais (un petit peu)
  27. to count
  28. to make something count
  29. to dream
  30. to say goodbye
  31. to say hello
  32. to say hello!
  33. to blog
  34. to get by with minimal knowledge of html/CSS
  35. to take a picture
  36. to let a picture be taken of me
  37. to speak a little bit of Cantonese
  38. to swear
  39. to live
  40. to let live
  41. to kill
  42. to be really good at video games
  43. to shoot a gun
  44. to dance (everybody knows how, but sometimes we forget when we think people care)
  45. to swim
  46. to balance
  47. to juggle
  48. to find crabs under rocks when the tide is out
  49. to remember to make it back to shore before the tide comes back in
  50. to make my bed
  51. to make my day
  52. to make mistakes
  53. from my mistakes
  54. to tie my shoes
  55. to blow bubbles with bubble gum
  56. to play

bigger than my body

Life is short when you look at the past. The past is only what has been. The present is what is. And when you live in the present and look forward, you realize that the future is unwritten. Nothing is set in stone. Live like a flower and you take what you can from the sky and the ground, and grow to be all you can. Learn from Nature. When you look to the future, you live like a flower. Growing up to be as tall as you can, or as big. You are potential actualizing. You do not grow back to your roots, but your roots are a part of you. Your roots continually make you. By just being, you are peaceful and never still. Whether growing in the middle of a field blowing in the wind, or growing over the side of a river bank facing water unstoppable a flower holds the keys to life. The keys to life are living in the present looking to the future. Living and seeing the million possibilities and maybes and not stopping because you can’t. Because you don’t. Nature is in continual change, and being a part of nature you waste nothing. You do not change the past; you realize the past brought you to where you are, but to be where you will be, you have to let go of what was. You have to release what you had to hold what you have.

music is a language

With so many musicians and singers and bands out there, you’d think that all of music has been done already. You’d think that the same chord progressions and melodies should spin circles by now, ripping each other off. But they don’t. At least not quite.

Music is a language. Like Spanish or Cantonese or Arabic, it’s got a set of rules. When you know the rules you can bend the rules like in poetry, producing beautiful new combinations. Like math, there are certain patterns that enrich the senses and incite curiosity and wonder. I think it’s a matter of choosing your words precisely, using only what is needed to communicate the message.

I can sit for hours playing the same three chords on guitar. It’s just fascinating the type of sounds that I can produce. One very special moment in my life is when I get the inspiration to write a new song. I’ve only written two full songs, but the feeling of putting new or old combinations together in my own way is a feeling like no other. Stumbling into chords and melodies, there is a critical period where I like to just let the music emanate. Let it experience life in the physical world for the first time. Before I can give a song words, it gives me silence.

The same chords seem to have a certain chemistry together, and even though you take different songs composed of the same chords, they are different. Because chords are like words. And music is a language. And the feelings and ideas behind them are not bound to them. They travel through them. This is language used properly: breaking limitations and pushing boundaries. Freeing.

we shall all be healed

i said love must have wings
to fly away from love,
and to fly back again,
and i’m starting to forget that
i ever believed–
the beating of your wings
leave me bruises,
every pounding of your
wings the further you are
the less i can feel
what you have left

a little bit of me

Sometimes it’s nice to see the sun. I missed it today, with the sky being mostly overcast, but I was still able to see it leave a purple glow on its way down.

Getting through a breakup isn’t easy, though sometimes it feels so. For many moments I have felt able and strong, and others weak and vulnerable. Life really is a maze, a place where you wander. I like to wander, and lately I feel like I’ve been caught up in thought. I’ve hit a few walls, stumbling. But I am making it through, even though my step isn’t always sure, it is forward. Gaining strength and momentum, I am taking my focus from the steps I’ve made, to the steps I am making. I can see the paths ahead, and the doors in the walls. Windows lighting the way.


There is a time and place for everything. To understand this is to accept the value of the moment — the time and place in which we all reside. The moment is always changing. Sometimes I feel that a part of myself wants to hold onto a certain moment and never let it go. That is to fight the inevitability of Nature, and to deny its essence. I know that that part of me who wants to hold on comes from a place of scarcity and misunderstanding; it feels that the moment will lose its value if it slips from the now into my memory. However, with considering the lens of abundance, I am reminded that by embracing and accepting the moment as it happens is to open the door to experiencing and appreciating other moments in their own light. To live like this is to accept life as a gift: to unwrap the box and discover the contents, then to package it up to open again later, only to discover that it has changed once more.