I just feel like writing

It’s the early afternoon on the clock but late afternoon in the natural day. The sun is half-way to setting time and I’m inside, warm and cozy. I’m on the computer and the music is on pause because I’m writing a song and simultaneously playing another song in the Key of G. Life is good.

Today I’ve read an article that says coffee is toxic and I’m drinking the cold, creamy brown liquid in my cup because even poison tastes good. I’m not depressed – in fact, I’m alive and enjoying myself in the purest sense. I didn’t always love myself, but I’m blessed to have had someone to teach me how.

I’ve watched a movie of one of the first books I’ve read and now I’m listening to the soundtrack. Yes, it’s Where the Wild Things are. It reminds me that children and music are inseparable, for both are life.

Some day I want to move to Russia. I don’t even know why I just said that. I do love Russia despite the fact that I know very little of living there but I saw a special on National Geographic, and some long lost spark inside me came alive. Maybe I want to live the James Bond dream (I love Bond movies) and come home from “Russia with love.” There’s something about a land that though torn and broken throughout history, is still referred to as “Motherland.” I meant that without an article because I know a Russian girl and she tells me there are no articles in Russian.

I’ve missed writing although I’ve written thousands of novel in my mind. A novel is really just the literary manifestation of an image or a feeling. Both are part of a deeper reality in our hearts and a novel is making that part of our physical reality. Does that make any sense? Some day I will publish something for you to read and hold and bring with you for a train ride. But I’m not old enough yet. Will there still be trains when I’m older?

Maybe. Or probably. I don’t see that we can physically sustain a system that progressively gets “better and better” — hold on, what is ‘progress’ anyway? I don’t know the answer to that one, even though I have many answers and theories.

I like that I have theories – it means I still have a chance to be wrong and to think of something else. To be creative, we have to be wrong sometimes, it’s how you make things new.

Can you believe it’s almost Christmas? I can’t wait. I spent last Christmas with a broken heart, but my family each took a piece on Christmas day and held it with love and that’s how I put it back together. I think hearts are the one things made to be broken, because that’s how you know they’re precious and worth it. Sometimes we don’t bother taking care of the things that are important to us until they break. So we remember to take care.

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