I just can’t stay out of the bathroom

So I don’t know what’s up with my bathroom experience (is it that I go to the bathroom often because I drink a lot of water? Who knows) but today I was in a stall conveniently checking my voicemail when two bathroom buddies came in. Now I know they were bathroom buddies because the bathroom was quiet and empty and these two bursted out into conversation as if they were saving it for this particular time in the day. It was hard to determine if this was premeditated – and I had to distinguish that they were talking to each other and not me – but their conversation apeared to flow naturally. One decided that his first choice in bathroom stalls was too dirty and the other found a compromise, reciting poetry on the stall wall in reply to his friend. Being an experienced veteran of the Simon Fraser University washrooms myself, I instantly recognized the famed poem: “Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit only farted..”

Why am I privy to this toilet talk? I do not know. Perhaps, this is  a new form of social media like Facebook, only adapted to the transitory porcelain cauldrons of college campus. No, this student must withhold judgement until further empirical study can be conducted – but let me remind you that Facebook, too, was first conceived in the halls (and therefore stalls) of college. One can only speculate what evolution this phenomenon will take in the near future.

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