i thirst for the connection of language that thing you so easily conceal until a few drinks down and you no longer care "ngo-di hai loong jai" we are bound by the same name same shame same hate, same insolence same (innocence).. that the appearance and cadence of whiteness is what we strive for but can never amount to i wish i could speak like you i wish my tongue had your wings i wish i could touch the sky with an aerosol can painting words like i've never known f r e e d o m j u s t i c e l o v e l i b e r a t i o n l i f e & reach into that bag of words a trick or two. a greeting. a phrase. an idea. but until then, i'll surround myself with police-action movies, mandarin love songs.. and recreate what my family could not give me.
if i drop
then it is because i fell from the heights of my mind, freely floated to the bottom of the bottom, the bottom of my heart.
and hear i would ly grand at the bounty of the land grasping at what fist who would hold me like this..
or maybe i've stooped (drooped) to the floor of the sea, looking up at the world who strangely looks down at me..
i am the one in the water but they are behind glass.
How many of you like to go on vacation? Where do you go? Mexico, Japan, India, Italy, Spain, France? If you’re like me, it’s fun to explore different cultures and places and learn a new language. On vacation, I often like trying new things and being in that state of mind where I am free to decide whatever I please. As ideally as I’d like to live that way everyday, I find myself tied down to my worries, expectations, and appointments; obviously I can’t leave class halfway through semester to go fishing at whim (well I could, but that would be irresponsible and against my greater goals) but alas, that’s why I set aside time for vacation, which isn’t necessarily the place I’m going to but what I’m doing while I”m there.
When I’m on vacation I like to structure some activities and have a few things in mind that I want to do, but not be rushed to complete them in a hurry. For example, my last trip to Mexico, I had a snorkeling trip set out as well as a trip to Chitchen-Itza. But for the most part, my schedule was free to change and flexible to accomodate any spontaneous plans.
The feeling of vacation is the mode I’m in which is open to limitless possibilities and allows me the opportunity to relax and breathe. It is a state of being, not a place. Sure we take vacations in relaxing places, but for the most part we are searching for that feeling. Of being unwound and loose and lazy as a summer dog.
And vacations for that matter do not have to be far away, they can be brief escapes from a hard day’s work with a tea in hand and a private view of the landscape.
Now I’ve got to go to class, but ponder how you can make a vacation possible and then plan it. Now is a busy time of the year and when you’re under the compost of paper work and assignments, you’ll want to have that vacation – that feeling – to get you through it.
To me, just thinking about my next vacation puts me at ease. Maybe because it’s Friday. Nonetheless, once I know what I have planned, I am free to enjoy the process. The afternoon tea on the beach in Hawaii with an old friend may be at 1:30, but it’s the unlimited time allotted to the tea time that is the relaxation.
I am so thankful to be free. Free from the confines of limiting doctrine, free from limiting relationships, and free from slavery. Freedom arises not from external circumstance, but from internal desire and yearning.
Really, life is a chessboard and everybody is a Pawn or a Queen. In you is the potential to become (for the inner you is always in a state of becoming), and the freedom to move to wherever you desire: you are autonomous.
Being autonomous, imagine that you are in a deserted salt flat of anywhere. Society is a bunch of footprints leading in one direction. Where does it lead to? Oasis? Mirage? You, in this situation, are free to follow it or not. You can choose to be a part of the path, or you may decide to walk elsewhere. With 360 degrees of direction, you can choose one. If you walk against the path, your perception may imply that you are going backwards, but in an infinity of choices, choosing your direction means you choose to move forwards – if even counter to the direction of society. A step anywhere is a step forward.