nothing and i mean nothing has set you apart like the special connection we have not your name which has, in its uniquity in a billion dollar, million person economy the element of surprise; it is not quite the fact that you got a boy's name by accident, or the nose ring stud you wear so beautifully, elegantly like a mother of pearl necklace you are a diamond as much as a rose is a universal standard of love perhaps it is the way you had cared for my grandparents and great auntie, that you could be both beautiful and kind to others would unlock the magic potion spell, the ancient formula that turns mercury to gold stone to flesh ash and soot to flame. even as though everything has been done every same word and poem and letter memorized and teased apart in class, made memorial at a stroke of genius written in an international exam known by name and author and title and line i can't help but feel we've just begun. that some fleeting one-time encounter has left me with a forever memory, etched into my bones a pencil note to pick up lemons from the market, a ring of string to remember to remember you most beautiful darling. i may have been just another sir giving you his name and number filed away as foolish and well-intentioned taken in courtesy, found in a work pant pocket a smile before break is over, then tossed out.. but naïve as i am i can't help but think you would have changed your mind had i lived in the same city and showed up one tuesday happy hour with flowers in hand at the sushi place where you work.
i still dream about you, see you in all your elegance never a stronger smile nor a closer embrace though we've left each other in life - at least for now - you continue to grow in my sleep meeting me at full moons turning from shadow to soul a light and a glow slowly fading into a deeper hue. like a song your measure and composure are still refined and though your transcendental poise escapes definition though we may never cross paths like stars are apart, (though i hope - like a comet - we are merely moving further on an elliptical journey..) i (still) go to sleep at the light of a candle & the thought of you.
if a picture is a thousand words then your voice is uncountable in- sur- mountable a peak and V- alley lush with game and forests and sheep you are a mother of all things & through four seasons you are a newspring lake a deep water well a magic a power a force and though i'll never understand you never have you in all your forever i bid you the best an anti-eternity can provide if all the stars are an end then you are my one beginning
you make a compelling argument with the the stencil of your name the colour of your skin the depth of your touch the soft, smudged essence of your silhouette if kindness can be learned it is because you were my teacher and my every inch a lesson in pleasure a kiss unfolding like paper the lines and veins of my sceptre at the thought of the curls in your hair riles the spiraled bliss roiling my every desire, riding wave after wave of your ocean waltz wiping sand from every beach, deposit in a bed of pearls and silk and to lye sweetly at the intoxicating scent (the aroma of your oyster) a perfume i gladly wear as a scarf dancing like a flag in the wind, compelling, like a roped towel pulling me closer no diamond came without dirt, no pearl without sand no spark without flint but it is the lightning bolt that is bright because it burns that burns because it is bright ecstasy cannot be taught only reached because it is first (everywhere) a priori a fork of lightning the electric ground reaching for the sky a rolling cry / the reason why) and the hint of you is enough convincing
i am the spotlight on you
soft yellow hues gazing a peaceful beam
unaffected by wind or hesitation
on the stage you are a careful artist
revealing me your wakeness, curves coming alive
in the shadows, lines like a painter’s hands:
gossamer hair and sunbrown tan,
if only they knew that your beauty blossoms in spring,
and grows bountifully in the summer,
in winter hiding away in your
deep black eyes,
like the stars all i know of you are fantastical myths,
and tales of stolen love,
never could i live to see you to an end
i feel it, too: how could i not?
once a heart decides
it is every same heart,
another sun in the sky of
a spinning galaxy,
every pirouette carried to end.
it is the endless gaze
between two, a knowing
that only existed.
it is the same cell
in all bodies, beating,
a drop of oil in the water
the oxygen of earth
the miracle of birth
love is a storm first
commanding you to put down
the hurt you hold so close to your chest
or be blown away to oblivion
forever in broken, jagged
it does not wait for compliance
or derision or more information
it is centered in calm, but surrounded
in hot, beating, electric chaos
hold on or be swept away
if love is a storm
i let go
to let you read inside this card
i made for you
unwrap and uncover:
this gift of a gentle memory
that warms me on cold days
when i think of you
(because i think of you)
and (kn)oh how i am vulnerable
how the innermost contents of this card
the words which i need not think
to say, but think often
are nails under my barefeet.
This poem was published in the poetry anthology Collected Whispers from a contest I entered at poetry.com. I don’t recommend you enter a poetry contest on that site for if you win, you’ll end up buying your own publication for $50. However, if that is a fair price for you to pay by all means go ahead and enter. I do have a very nice book with my poem in it now – though I feel that poems are far more valuable in the folds of crumpled paper than bounded in fancy leather. You be the judge, the witness, the pidgeon sitting on the statue. Thanks and enjoy.
i opened my heart and out poured
love onto the street
flooding and covering,
i opened the doors in my knees
as it rose past my feet.