grandpa's painted violin
adorns his always shaven chin
under the pinks, blues, purples and greens,
lies a 10,000 dollar appraised reverberating tone
that resonates with the present.
not the absence of air
be the presence of motion
and the price of the ticket
3 trips across the pacific.
one journey home.
i have heard these conversations
if only while i was asleep.
i don't know how my ancestors walked to canada
over the miles of roads meant for travel faster than foot:
wagon paths of stone and mud with 10 chickens on their back,
there's a reason there are a billion bicycles in China,
great great grandfather must have had to file and sand his own knees
to bend them into perfect circles. how else could these roads be traversed?
meanwhile great great grandmother must have died of worry --
the worst sickness
unknown to the family
because telegraphs didn't span the pacific ocean.
and paper was expensive.
those chickens weren't yet money to buy rice,
and they were too skinny for eggs, not that we could eat shells, anyway.
but maybe we'll try.
did i forget?
how did he get to hong kong?
always the outer skirt of lady britain's domain,
never quite city familiar.
because money's hard to spend,
when its locked in the white banker's savings.
i hear that the bridge lies beneath the waters,
foundations in ruins.
and someday i'll walk it
and meet grandma
on the other side.
i thirst for the connection of language
that thing you so easily conceal
until a few drinks down
and you no longer care
"ngo-di hai loong jai"
we are bound by the same
name same shame same
hate, same insolence same (innocence)..
that the appearance and cadence
is what we strive for
but can never amount to
i wish i could speak like you
i wish my tongue had your wings
i wish i could touch the sky with an aerosol can
painting words like i've never known
f r e e d o m
j u s t i c e
l o v e
l i b e r a t i o n
reach into that bag of words
a trick or two.
a greeting. a phrase. an idea.
but until then,
i'll surround myself with police-action movies,
mandarin love songs..
and recreate what my family
could not give me.